Up pes to escape tyranny?

Recently one of my army friend made a remarkable move and set an example for all Singapore sons to follow by upping his pes status from C to A.

For all those who are unclear of pes status, pes status determine your suitability for vocations in the SAF, with the fittest being graded A and the problematic ones being graded C or E, depending on how serious your medical conditions are.

Many people will therefore try to downgrade to pes C or E so that they can go into slack vocations which are often not demanding.

Upgrade is quite rare and virtually unheard of.

Apparently, this poor friend of mine was initially granted pes c and was given a role as an admin or clerk assitant. However, he confounded in me that work pressure in admin was so great that he would rather pick a rifle and fight in the front line then being arrowed by superiors to do clerical saikang. I was appalled.

Moral of the story is that life is camp is so f*** up no matter where you go.

261 days to ORD!

Must strive for ROD! No reservist. :)))

Would you last?

A morbid grim title i have for this entry. Can't help it because i have seen how vulnerable lives really are. Recently on the local news were the deaths of two poly students in a car crash and a 19 year old army boy in a fatal motorbike accident. A pity.

Life can be fragile. Treasure time and your loved ones always.

Be aware every morning that you may not last the day,
And every evening that you may not last the night.

-Engraved plaque in the catacombs of Paris

Depression is a pestilence

I would say that the few hours prior to the booking in timing every Sunday are the least meaningful and unproductive. It is during this time that most army personnel will just lock themselves in their room, fixing their eyes on their computer, rotting to...book in. Face it, the options ain't many when the poor army guy is required to book in at 10pm or 11pm and the clock reads a pathetic 7pm. So here i am now rotting my time away and blogging in front of the computer, unable to attend any gathering due to lack of time, just waiting to book in. Sigh.

This can be classified as a case of depression i think. Because it will just get
worse. The last 15 min to booking in is what i call the "blackout timing" because your mind is in a blank, oblivious to the happenings around you. Wait a min, how can there be "happenings" when you are confined in your own room? You have just switched off the damn computer, wore your damn polo t-shirt when you suddenly awe in utter amazement to find out that you have another 7 min to go before you step out of your door and venture to hell. 7 min... shit! And you immediately blame yourself for the stupidity of switching your com at such a early time. With nothing else to do, you just slump yourself flat on the bed and use the time left to stare at the ceiling...... What i just did is to echo the sentiments felt by many army people prior to booking in.

Sux. i am off to hell now.

Exasperation

People are a bunch of funny things. They tend to have a second look at aberrations. Likewise for me, i tend to think that clubbers are interesting people, because i cannot understand the fun of clubbing. I guess that when one finds some element that is different, one will tend to notice it and will want to find out more. In the case of my scarred finger, i have begun to attract stares here and there. Coversely, if clubbers find conservative people like me reading a book, or using my free time to play boardgames like SCRABBLES instead of grooving high to some disco music. I would probably be their center of attention because i am against the "norm" to them. They might think i am a weirdo or something...hmmm...



Well,the point that i want to bring across is that cliques are formed based on this societal differences because birds of the same feathers flock together. In my army circle of friends, buddies of old times have moved on to forming new cliques and relationships have soured over times. It was because differences exist between me and my buddies. Many of my army friends are english speaking, love clubbing, love to sing english songs and the night life which i don't really have a passion for it. Although i can't say i don't, but theirs is a bit too frequent and extreme for me. Naturally, i find myself being an outcast and have moved on to joining new cliques. I also find myself speaking less and less to my buddies of old times, and will feel a tinge of sadness whenever they go clubbing and i don't get invited. I understand that it is my fault that my personality don't match theirs and i ain't really their good old buddy anymore, although i did was in the past... I do feel neglected sometimes, but i can't force myself to conform, otherwise i wouldn't be myself anymore.


I just wish i will fit in once again.

Something lurking in the mist!

Caught the movie The Mist recently which is a adaptation of the novella by horror author Stephen King. It is about a group of people being trapped in a supermarket by an outerworldly mist. Mayhem ensues when they realise that there are strange beings lurking in the mist which seek to eviscerate anyone who dares to venture outside. The group of people needs to pull themselves together in order to survive. One thing interesting about the movie is that it brings out the darkest nature of human behaviour in times of adversity as the protagonist not only have to fend off aliens, but also have to grapple with the people within the confined supermarket to prevent them from doing stupid things that would endanger everyone's lives. Highly recommended movie to all. The ending was also too unexpected that i walked out of the cinema feeling dazed and falling into a state of comatose.

This movie inspired me to read the book and i found that The Mist is actually found in the book Skeleton Crew which is an anthology of many short horror stories. Managed to borrow it at my nearby library. :) There is also a official movie book written by stephen king himself for this movie.

Class gathering!

Recently attended 2 class outings last week! Due to the fact that i am tired now, i won't describe much about the events. Anyway, i was really glad to see so many of my old friends because the turn up rate was good! Wish there would be more gatherings in the near future! Some photos for my memory. :)) One more thing, my army life had being really busyyyyyyyy....so much admin stuff to do, store stuff to settle, items to be returned , indentations of items, unit rations forecast...Although my job scope is different now, it is still tough. Who says admin and store is slack in the 1st place? So much to do, so little time..

怎能忘记旧日朋友 心中能不欢笑!

盼望退伍的日子-121108

有人说在兵营“度日如年”，这句话果然没错，简直就是经典话. 但因军事法令, 所以不能透露生活情况, 免得惹祸上身. 总之我在这里又做不完的琐事, 忙得不可开交. 本以为受了伤就没那么辛苦了, 看来大错特错了.

最近手指的疤痕也来也成熟, 红肿, 很难受....

迎接2008瞬间的启示

2007 转眼间就要跟我们告别了。说真的，2007 对我来说是个不顺利的一年。 奶奶的病逝，我食指的重伤，再加上我在兵营的地狱般生活， 已经够折腾人了。希望新的一年快快到来，把我身上的霉运通通送走。：）

现在距离2008年只剩下短短几个小时，我的喉咙却开始发炎，想必一定是感冒的症状。。真的很不希望已不适的身体来结束2007啊。。。


每逢洋人新年来临时，各个新加坡角落都会举行一些倒数派对活动。 我可能会跟朋友到度假村那里看看一些表演。

2007虽然让我受了重重挫折， 但我也从中领悟到了许多东西。特别是人生无常，事物难料的哲理。我们应该把每一天当作人生的最后一天来看待， 只有这样我们才会珍惜生命和现在所拥有的一切啊。


祝大家有个快乐的新年！！！！！

Missing you

Now i don't have the chance to drink your self-made soyabean or visit you whenever chinese new year comes.

Dad and i miss you, Grandma.

Evil people at large

In this increasingly materialistic society, success is defined by one's education level and the power one wields. When people think they become successful, the evil in their heart starts to grow so strong that they become engulfed by their own individual darkness. That is when sadism kicks in.

Their ego is so huge that they think they are at the cutting edge or at the top of the world. Ordinary people are like lower lifeforms in their eyes. They believe that the world cannot do without them; they are important or so they think. What a putrid way of thinking seriously.

Recently i came across such sadists.

Medical doctors in my barracks became my nightmare due to their "professionalism". First doctor called me the "taiwan joker" for substaining this finger injury. The reason he said that was because i was injured in taiwan. I felt so hurt and yet i could do nothing. I thought things would turn better when i saw a second doctor. The next bastard however, started telling me stories.

"Last time in army there were 4 people who desperately chopped off their right index finger to escape army. The 1st, 2nd and third succeeded. But the fourth didn't.."

I was stunned momentarily upon hearing this and i became more aggressive. I questioned the doc whether he implied i was trying to siam army. He said he didn't. Yea, right. He also threatened to cut short my MC and if my next MC was prolonged, he would call to check with my specialist again. Apparently, the two weer friends. I tried to explain to him why i needed such a long MC. He didn't bother to listen and made decisions based on his wrong sense of judgement, saying rubbish along the way like i am still fit to fire guns and do all the shit.

I was boiling with anger as i wrote this and maybe next time if i were to see him in the street i could teach him a thing or two. Let the doc says whatever he wants, i will just throw another MC at him. So what if he is a doctor or a captain. It makes me puke to think that these are the kind of people who practise medicines.

No more being Mr nice guy kahhaw. The world is sadder than you think it is.

Night accident

My constant fear of dad's health condition became reality at 2am yesterday when my dad complained of right loin pain. I only knew about this after mum came bursting into my room asking for help. The pain became unbearable for my dad and we rushed him to the hospital by cab. All of us were especially flustered during the ride because it could be a kidney problem. Dad was attended to shortly and doc suspected that the problem might be kidney stones but she wasn't sure yet. Dad was then administered a painkiller injection before going for x-ray and a urine test. I prayed very hard for him and luckily nothing was wrong with the test result. Doc then gave him a laxative to clear his bowels and my dad felt much better after that. Therefore, it might be severe constipation and dad was subsequently discharged. He would need to come back to the urology department again for a medical appointment in 2 weeks time. As of now, everything is still fine.

A second chance

My recovery is doing very well. Although my right index finger still cannot bend completely,the middle part of the finger has recovered to the point that i can clench my fist and grip things now. As for appearance, it looks like a nice new finger except for the deeply etched scars. Will continue to do more physio. Thank you for the miracle.

My life has recently took a turn for the worst. Doctor was quite sure that my right index finger would not be able to bend completely after a freak accident in NS. the shock came too suddenly and too much for me to bear that i was left virtually traumatised. It was after a long time before i came to terms with this fact, and began to understand that this was just a reality of life. The accident had allowed me to focus on the things that truly matter in life. My family was my pillar of support as i was going through this difficult time, often asking me to take it easy and saying that i was lucky enough already. I appeared strong in front of them, but emotions would overwelm me every night that i would sob while trying to sleep. Every now and then i would contemplate about my future, and it seems so bleak. Things which i took for granted long ago like writing and gripping firmly seem like chores now, because i have difficulty doing them. I worried about tweeny little things like how i am going to fare for myself and take care of my family in future. They all seem so far-fetched and ridiculus but i just couldn't control these thoughts that keep swirling in my mind. I am physically impaired now although i hate to admit it. I have begun to practise writing with my left hand now.People might think that I am crazy or something, but i am just doing everything that i can to salvage the situation...

一首我喜欢听的歌 “酒干倘卖无”

“酒干倘卖无”，就是说，“有空酒瓶卖么？” 这首歌我从小就喜欢听了。 今天在百度搜寻歌的时候才偶然发现到它背后的故事。 我本身觉得蛮感人的哦！这也是我第一次在薄客用华语字来表达自己，认为挺困难的。以下就是我所读到的故事背景。

酒干倘卖无　　

《搭错车》是台湾影史上最著名的一部歌舞片，造成了5个月内8度重映的空前纪录。影片中孙越饰演哑叔，是一个退役的台湾老兵，以捡拾破烂为生。1958年冬天的一个清晨，哑叔在高级住宅区捡回一个被遗弃的女婴，取名阿美。此后，哑叔又当爹又当娘，父女二人相依为命，在艰辛贫困的日子中挣扎，凭借着微薄的收入将阿美抚养成人。在青年作曲家时君迈的帮助下，阿美成了一名红歌星。不料阿美成名之后，竟然遗忘了哑叔对她的恩情。后来，当阿美领悟到不能奉养老父的辛酸时，身患重病的哑叔却已躺在床上，只能从收音机里听着女儿熟悉的歌声，怀着思念 、悲愤的心情离开了人世。虞戡平导演本片的手法无疑有点煽情，但深具感人效果，在80年代中期甚至呈现了一点批判社会不义的讽刺性。本片获第20届金马奖最佳男主角奖、最佳原著音乐奖、最佳电影插曲奖、最佳录音奖；获第3届香港电影金像奖最佳音乐奖、最佳电影歌曲奖。 　　

“酒干倘卖无”是《搭错车》的主题曲，由侯德健作曲，罗大佑与候德健作词，苏芮演唱。歌曲中溶入了子女对父亲的爱，体现了故事与音乐互动的完美结合。歌名是台湾方言，是当地捡破烂者的口头语，就是问人家“有没有空酒瓶卖”之意。由于苏芮的歌声极具韧性，加之宽广音域造成了一种强烈的沧桑感，并用最简单最质朴最催人泪下的音乐语言实现了热切情感在刹那间的爆发。特别是在影片结尾女儿悔悟的时候，父亲却已告别人世，熟悉的歌声再一次响起，让人感叹不已。 　　

本片亦捧红了为影片唱主题歌及插曲的苏芮。“洒干倘卖无”及“一样的月光”、“请跟我来”等歌一时间风靡台湾全岛，并进而风靡了祖国大陆、香港地区，街头巷尾到处都回旋着苏芮摄人心魄的歌声。人们很快发现，苏芮近乎呐喊的演唱是华语歌坛未曾有过的一种声音，一种“力量”。而这力量不只是声音的威力，而是歌者本人不屈的生命力。









希望以后能看到这部电影。 明天我又要回去兵营了， 心情又变得有点沉重了。我脚底下又生了几个鸡眼，走路时有时会疼痛。看来我只好忍受了，因为在多十二个星期我就会擢升为三级上士<3rd sergeant>! 真希望课程会顺利完成！

The past few days were probably one of the most torturous and depressing moments in my life. On friday afternoon at camp i received the bad news from my dad that my grandpa had passed away. i therefore applied for compassionate leave and left for perak with my family.

The cause of my grandpa death was cerebral bleeding. i saw many of my relatives there at his funeral and we grieved for his loss. My grandpa was a poor man and at his age, he still had to work as a cleaner at a hawker centre because he could not retire. i also learnt from my dad that my grandpa requested for cremation while he was still alive as the burial process was too costly.

This further reinforce my mindset that money is everything. I want to grow up earning lotta of money so that i can provide for and take care of my loved ones. The old times that i used to spend with my grandpa when i was still young will always stay vividly in my memory. I will miss him forever.

There is still a few mins before i book in to the so called army "prison" and so i will blog briefly now after what seems like centuries since my last post. I am currently a trainee at a armour school in sungei gedong camp after graduatiing from sispec . Life here is quite okay so far except that you have to learn tons of shit here.

I have also accepted the offer to study at SMU business and i hope that i will do well there. But the school fees is super exp...

Got to book in now. BYE

Long weekend bookout

This is a interesting persoanlity test i took recently because i was so bored. The results as followed.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Time flies

It has been a long time. Completed my basic military training. Went through lots of sad, happy and tough times with my brothers. Anyway, i am posted to Sispec and i will be going back to army real sooooon...Oh yea, i also applied to all the biz courses in all the 3 uni. Haha.

Some really inspirational statements that i have stumbled across.

８０句经典话语
01.每天告诉自己一次，『我真的很不错』02.生气是拿别人做错的事来惩罚自己03.生活中若没有朋友，就像生活中没有阳光一样04.明天的希望，让我们忘了今天的痛苦05.生活若剥去理想、梦想、幻想，那生命便只是一堆空架子06.发光并非太阳的专利，你也可以发光 07.愚者用肉体监视心灵，智者用心灵监视肉体 08.获致幸福的不二法门是珍视你所拥有的、遗忘你所没有的09.贪婪是最真实的贫穷，满足是最真实的财富 10.你可以用爱得到全世界，你也可以用恨失去全世界11.人的价值，在遭受诱惑的一瞬间被决定 12.年轻是我们唯一拥有权利去编织梦想的时光 13.青春一经典当即永不再赎14.没有了爱的语言，所有的文字都是乏味的15.真正的爱，应该超越生命的长度、心灵的宽度、灵魂的深度 16.爱的力量大到可以使人忘记一切，却又小到连一粒嫉妒的沙石也不能容纳 17.当一个人真正觉悟的一刻，他放弃追寻外在世界的财富，而开始追寻他内心世界的真正财富 　　18.只要有信心，人永远不会挫败19.不论你在什么时候开始，重要的是开始之后就不要停止20.不论你在什么时候结束，重要的是结束之后就不要悔恨 21.人若软弱就是自己最大的敌人 22.人若勇敢就是自己最好的朋友 23.『不可能』只存在于蠢人的字典里 24.抱最大的希望，尽最大的努力，做最坏的打算 25.家！甜蜜的家！天下最美好的莫过于家26.游手好闲会使人心智生锈 27.每一件事都要用多方面的角度来看它28.有理想在的地方，地狱就是天堂29.有希望在的地方，痛苦也成欢乐30.所有的胜利，与征服自己的胜利比起来，都是微不足道31.所有的失败，与失去自己的失败比起来，更是微不足道 32.上帝从不埋怨人们的愚昧，人们却埋怨上帝的不公平 33.美好的生命应该充满期待、惊喜和感激34.世上最累人的事，莫过于虚伪的过35.觉得自己做得到的和不做到的，其实只在一念之间 36.第一个青春是上帝给的；第二个的青春是*自己努力的 37.少一点预设的期待，那份对人的关怀会更自在 38.思想如钻子，必须集中在一点钻下去才有力量39.人只要不失去方向，就不会失去自己 40.如果你曾歌颂黎明，那么也请你拥抱黑夜 41.问候不一定要慎重其事，但一定要真诚感人 42.人生重要的不是所站的位置，而是所姆较43.当你能飞的时候就不要放弃飞44.当你能梦的时候就不要放弃梦 45.当你能爱的时候就不要放弃爱 46.生命太过短暂，今天放弃了明天不一定能得到 47.天才是百分之一的灵感加上百分之九十九的努力 48.人总是珍惜未得到的，而遗忘了所拥有的 49.快乐要懂得分享，才能加倍的快乐 50.自己要先看得起自己，别人才会看得起你 51.一个今天胜过两个明天52.要铭记在心；每天都是一年中最美好的日子53.乐观者在灾祸中看到机会；悲观者在机会中看到灾祸 54.有勇气并不表示恐惧不存在，而是敢面对恐惧、克服恐惧 55.肯承认错误则错已改了一半56.明天是世上增值最快的一块土地，因它充满了希望57.理想的路总是为有信心的人预备着58.所有欺骗中，自欺是最为严重的59.人生最大的错误是不断担心会犯错60.把你的脸迎向阳光，那就不会有阴影61.经验是由痛苦中粹取出来的62.用最少的悔恨面对过去63.用最少的浪费面对现在 64.用最多的梦面对未来 65.快乐不是因为拥有的多而是计较的少66.你的选择是做或不做，但不做就永远不会有机会 67.如你想要拥有完美无暇的友谊，可能一辈子找不到朋友 68.不如意的时候不要尽往悲伤里钻，想想有笑声的日子吧69.把自己当傻瓜，不懂就问，你会学的更多 70.要纠正别人之前，先反省自己有没有犯错 71.因害怕失败而不敢放手一搏，永远不会成功 72.要克服生活的焦虑和沮丧，得先学会做自己的主人 73.你不能左右天气，但你能转变你的心情 74.孤单寂寞与被遗弃感是最可怕的贫穷75.想象力比知识更重要76.漫无目的的生活就像出海航行而没有指南针 77.好好扮演自己的角色，做自己该做的事78.一切伟大的行动和思想，都有一个微不足道的开始 79.得意时应善待他人，因为你失意时会需要他们 80.学做任何事得按部就班，急不得。

Bye bye

Going in army this sat..13th jan 2007. What is there to say? Nothing. Cya people next time!

Everyday is the same

Oh no... nothing really special occurred ever since my work ended. The only thing worth mentioning is that i had my 1st karaoke experience at kbox at suntec city. Sang mostly sad chinese songs that were mostly oldies.....the ones often heard at 97.2 FM. My frens sang mostly jay songs and some english songs. Overall, it was fun but it also pained me to pay 13 dollars just for a 3 hr session. Other than that, i sang terribly..oh well. Rest of the days were spent by slacking at home reading comic or going out occasionally with friends. Quite normal. Won't be blogging until i came across a interesting event...which might take quite some time since my life is a bit boring and screwed up now.