Woh sad sad

I feel extremely angry, exasparated, frustrated.. at school today. During biology lesson, I asked my bio teacher a question, and this somehow proved to be a stupid question to one 0f my good friend, who simply...ermmm laughed at it. At first i didn't notice it, until the teacher singled him out to the class because he was.....errmmm laughing at my stoopidity. Although i didn't really vent out my frustration, deep down inside, my heart was pulsing with anger. And to add on to my already boiling blood, he was my very good friend somemore. I mean if you think this question is stoopid, u also dun't have to laugh rite. :( This friend of mine is also not a very altruistic person and he doesn't seem interested in answering my queries whenever i ask him questions. Haiz, i think this is veri regretable la. I shouldn't feel angry, because after all, he is not obliged to teach me. But next time should he refuse to help me, i hope that he won't give me that face- it kills. I don't realli want to pen this anymore, because it hurts to continue. All i can say is that i don't harbour grudge for long because i think it is childish and we are still good friends together, despite the extreme personality differences. But the good thing, this incident shall serve as my personal motivation to strive hard for the A lvls!


I shall be going to a old friend's house soon for a gathering with my realli realli good frens- my fellow batch scout mates. One of them has gone overseas for his studies and has only just returned. This cheers me up slightly. Got to go now! Have to make my way there fast becoz there is realli some catching up to do, i call it men's retreat! hahaz !

如果云知道

A nice chinese song i am currently listening...

爱一旦结冰一切都好平静
泪水它一旦流尽只剩决心
放逐自己在黑夜的边境
任由黎明一步一步向我逼近
想你的心化成灰烬
真的有点累了没什么力气
有太多太多的回忆哽住呼吸
爱你的心我无处投递如果可以飞檐走壁找到你
爱的委屈不必澄清只要你将我抱紧

如果云知道
想你的夜慢慢熬
每个思念过一秒
每次呼喊过一秒
只觉得生命不停燃烧

如果云知道
逃不开纠缠的牢
每当心痛过一秒
每回哭醒过一秒
只剩下心在乞讨你不会知道

Hungry Ghost Festival

Today is the 1st day of the hungry ghost festival and as usual, my family went down to the void deck area to pray and burn some incense. I became very emotional as i prayed for my family and results. Of course in my case, i hope i would do well in A lvl. For dad, i prayed for his health, as his health condition has deteriorated much lately. The stressful working environment has taken a toll on him. Every now and then, he would return home to remind me of the need to study hard because life has become very harsh on him. I would however, became very frustrated because of his constant nagging. But i knew they are important in reminding me of the goals that i have to achieve. I began to worry for his health, as he had high blood pressure and had ignored medication for quite some time. His appearance reminds me of a frail old man, coupled with deep wrinkles and white hair. His eyes have also become waterly and blood-shot lately. Somehow, i began to have a morbid thought that my dad would..leave me suddenly. I dunnoe how to put it by time is running out, i must work hard to give him and my mum a good life they deserved.

Didn't get any rest lately because my current lifestyle is that i would sleep from evening till 8pm, then mug until the next morning at 3am. I would then sleep from 3am to 6am, sounds crazy but i think it is meaningful as i really get to do some solid self revision on my own.

The muggin crusade begins..

The time is as of 2.12 am on my watch now. Bloggin now in order to take a break from doing maths. I have decided to mug thru the night and catch some sleep at school from now on. Becoz at school, some lessons and lectures to me are considered as a waste of time whereby you don't really learn a lot. So instead of staring at nothingness or stoning, i might as well close my eyes and get some rest, and prepare myself for independent mugging after school. I seriously don't understand y some teachers always find fault with students who close their eyes in class. i mean they are still able to listen to what the teacher is speaking, except that they are resting at the same time too. That's killing two birds with 1 stone mah! Ok, back to books.

Today i don't know what got over me... cause i skipped maths lecture. Well, it happened because there was a large time gap (about 2 hrs) between dismissal to the extra maths lecture. I also thought that they would go thru Maths paper 2 (boring) instead of the new topic numerical methods. So i skipped it, even though i knew it was wrong in the 1st place. To add to my dismay, the lecture went thru numerical methods instead of the boring Maths paper 2. Looks like i would have to borrow notes from friends tomorrow to copy down the stuff i missed, or even worse, to try to make sense of the new topic without help. Argghhh, stoopid me.

A lvl coming up in ermmm....4 months time! This izzit! The final barrier to overcome! But my prepartory work is still not up to standard yet. Had just finished my midyears, secured a EEO. The future looks grim for me, but i believe i can do much better in the upcoming prelims and A lvl. There is absolutely no time left to feel sad or depressed over my bad results, because it is errr...pointless. I am still wondering y am i bloggin when i am supposed to go back to my books. I really want to make it to the pharmacy or business course after graduating, because i dunnoe wat else i can be. To enter pharmacy, one needs to secure 65 out of a 68 max score. That is like hitting almost the max perfect score..Awwww. Business will need 60 points. Basically, i have to hit AAB or the most ABB, nothing worse liao. I am quite worried over my GP and bio and maths, wait.. that is virtually all my subjects. Hack! Before i go, i wanted to say Ngee Ann campfire~The gathering of the pugilists rockz! I did went back last saturday to Ngee Ann Sec to help out and keep in touch with my fellow scout brothers. They haven't changed a bit at all! Haha. Oh yea! One last thing,I have been feeling really tired and lerthargic lately, can't realli concentrate in class. Maybe shall sleep earlier from now on! Bye