Exasperation

People are a bunch of funny things. They tend to have a second look at aberrations. Likewise for me, i tend to think that clubbers are interesting people, because i cannot understand the fun of clubbing. I guess that when one finds some element that is different, one will tend to notice it and will want to find out more. In the case of my scarred finger, i have begun to attract stares here and there. Coversely, if clubbers find conservative people like me reading a book, or using my free time to play boardgames like SCRABBLES instead of grooving high to some disco music. I would probably be their center of attention because i am against the "norm" to them. They might think i am a weirdo or something...hmmm...



Well,the point that i want to bring across is that cliques are formed based on this societal differences because birds of the same feathers flock together. In my army circle of friends, buddies of old times have moved on to forming new cliques and relationships have soured over times. It was because differences exist between me and my buddies. Many of my army friends are english speaking, love clubbing, love to sing english songs and the night life which i don't really have a passion for it. Although i can't say i don't, but theirs is a bit too frequent and extreme for me. Naturally, i find myself being an outcast and have moved on to joining new cliques. I also find myself speaking less and less to my buddies of old times, and will feel a tinge of sadness whenever they go clubbing and i don't get invited. I understand that it is my fault that my personality don't match theirs and i ain't really their good old buddy anymore, although i did was in the past... I do feel neglected sometimes, but i can't force myself to conform, otherwise i wouldn't be myself anymore.


I just wish i will fit in once again.