Woh sad sad

I feel extremely angry, exasparated, frustrated.. at school today. During biology lesson, I asked my bio teacher a question, and this somehow proved to be a stupid question to one 0f my good friend, who simply...ermmm laughed at it. At first i didn't notice it, until the teacher singled him out to the class because he was.....errmmm laughing at my stoopidity. Although i didn't really vent out my frustration, deep down inside, my heart was pulsing with anger. And to add on to my already boiling blood, he was my very good friend somemore. I mean if you think this question is stoopid, u also dun't have to laugh rite. :( This friend of mine is also not a very altruistic person and he doesn't seem interested in answering my queries whenever i ask him questions. Haiz, i think this is veri regretable la. I shouldn't feel angry, because after all, he is not obliged to teach me. But next time should he refuse to help me, i hope that he won't give me that face- it kills. I don't realli want to pen this anymore, because it hurts to continue. All i can say is that i don't harbour grudge for long because i think it is childish and we are still good friends together, despite the extreme personality differences. But the good thing, this incident shall serve as my personal motivation to strive hard for the A lvls!


I shall be going to a old friend's house soon for a gathering with my realli realli good frens- my fellow batch scout mates. One of them has gone overseas for his studies and has only just returned. This cheers me up slightly. Got to go now! Have to make my way there fast becoz there is realli some catching up to do, i call it men's retreat! hahaz !

如果云知道

A nice chinese song i am currently listening...

爱一旦结冰一切都好平静
泪水它一旦流尽只剩决心
放逐自己在黑夜的边境
任由黎明一步一步向我逼近
想你的心化成灰烬
真的有点累了没什么力气
有太多太多的回忆哽住呼吸
爱你的心我无处投递如果可以飞檐走壁找到你
爱的委屈不必澄清只要你将我抱紧

如果云知道
想你的夜慢慢熬
每个思念过一秒
每次呼喊过一秒
只觉得生命不停燃烧

如果云知道
逃不开纠缠的牢
每当心痛过一秒
每回哭醒过一秒
只剩下心在乞讨你不会知道

Hungry Ghost Festival

Today is the 1st day of the hungry ghost festival and as usual, my family went down to the void deck area to pray and burn some incense. I became very emotional as i prayed for my family and results. Of course in my case, i hope i would do well in A lvl. For dad, i prayed for his health, as his health condition has deteriorated much lately. The stressful working environment has taken a toll on him. Every now and then, he would return home to remind me of the need to study hard because life has become very harsh on him. I would however, became very frustrated because of his constant nagging. But i knew they are important in reminding me of the goals that i have to achieve. I began to worry for his health, as he had high blood pressure and had ignored medication for quite some time. His appearance reminds me of a frail old man, coupled with deep wrinkles and white hair. His eyes have also become waterly and blood-shot lately. Somehow, i began to have a morbid thought that my dad would..leave me suddenly. I dunnoe how to put it by time is running out, i must work hard to give him and my mum a good life they deserved.

Didn't get any rest lately because my current lifestyle is that i would sleep from evening till 8pm, then mug until the next morning at 3am. I would then sleep from 3am to 6am, sounds crazy but i think it is meaningful as i really get to do some solid self revision on my own.

The muggin crusade begins..

The time is as of 2.12 am on my watch now. Bloggin now in order to take a break from doing maths. I have decided to mug thru the night and catch some sleep at school from now on. Becoz at school, some lessons and lectures to me are considered as a waste of time whereby you don't really learn a lot. So instead of staring at nothingness or stoning, i might as well close my eyes and get some rest, and prepare myself for independent mugging after school. I seriously don't understand y some teachers always find fault with students who close their eyes in class. i mean they are still able to listen to what the teacher is speaking, except that they are resting at the same time too. That's killing two birds with 1 stone mah! Ok, back to books.

Today i don't know what got over me... cause i skipped maths lecture. Well, it happened because there was a large time gap (about 2 hrs) between dismissal to the extra maths lecture. I also thought that they would go thru Maths paper 2 (boring) instead of the new topic numerical methods. So i skipped it, even though i knew it was wrong in the 1st place. To add to my dismay, the lecture went thru numerical methods instead of the boring Maths paper 2. Looks like i would have to borrow notes from friends tomorrow to copy down the stuff i missed, or even worse, to try to make sense of the new topic without help. Argghhh, stoopid me.

A lvl coming up in ermmm....4 months time! This izzit! The final barrier to overcome! But my prepartory work is still not up to standard yet. Had just finished my midyears, secured a EEO. The future looks grim for me, but i believe i can do much better in the upcoming prelims and A lvl. There is absolutely no time left to feel sad or depressed over my bad results, because it is errr...pointless. I am still wondering y am i bloggin when i am supposed to go back to my books. I really want to make it to the pharmacy or business course after graduating, because i dunnoe wat else i can be. To enter pharmacy, one needs to secure 65 out of a 68 max score. That is like hitting almost the max perfect score..Awwww. Business will need 60 points. Basically, i have to hit AAB or the most ABB, nothing worse liao. I am quite worried over my GP and bio and maths, wait.. that is virtually all my subjects. Hack! Before i go, i wanted to say Ngee Ann campfire~The gathering of the pugilists rockz! I did went back last saturday to Ngee Ann Sec to help out and keep in touch with my fellow scout brothers. They haven't changed a bit at all! Haha. Oh yea! One last thing,I have been feeling really tired and lerthargic lately, can't realli concentrate in class. Maybe shall sleep earlier from now on! Bye

Great, i have fallen into the habit of not blogging again...somehow, i just can't find the motivation to substain this blog. Haiz, what a lousy excuse i have given myself. Never mind and anyway, yesterday was the soccer finals between VJ and MJ and the whole MJC went down to support our soccer boys. Nothing beats live action man! However, we lost the match and the final scores was 4-2. I think that it was a waste as we were initially leading, before VJ came down on us by scoring 3 goals in the last 8 minutes. SO DAMN SAD LA! Anyway, my heart goes out to all our soccer brethrens who faught hard in the field. Although they lost, they would forever stay as champions in my heart. YEA! YOU all ROCKZ! My academic life was also getting worse, and i dropped physics. I dropped it because i felt that i could not cope and i would like to well in the other 3 subjects. Some said i made the wrong decision, but i kn0w myself best. At the rate i was going if i continued to hold on to 4 subs, i knew would be screwed for the A lvls at the end of the year. I do regret sometimes, and naturally, would miss the physics lectures and my physics lecturer mdm fong. But rather than constantly dwelling deep on the past and contemplating about "if only" i had kept all 4 subs, i want to think about "what if" i get all A's for my 3 subjects. i don't want to feel regretable anymore, and promise to keep a positive outlook in life. These few days would be rather hectic, with GP exam coming up(maybe i blog becoz of it) and not forgetting the upcoming mjc games convention fair my cca is hosting, i would be really busy. Till next time, whoever is reading my blog! haha

The second week of school has just ended. Things got really heated up and i had just finished my chem test today... die man! Haha! The questions ask a lot on organic chem and i myself did not know much of the reactions. I also had my 1st CCA meeting since school reopened and from now on, Intellectual games Club training will be changed to Wednesday. It starts at 2 whereby i will undergo bridge training in preparation for the upcoming competition and this will end at about 4pm. I will then have chinese chess training from 4 to 7 pm under the guidance of a new coach. Siao! If you think about it, it is simply mind training from 2 to 7 each week! I don't reckon i will stand a chance of qualifying for the competition because they are simply lots of of better players in my club. Therefore, i don't think i will achieve any major or accomplishing feat during this year. Maybe i should do more CIP activites so that there is at least something to write in my testimonial at the end of the year.

It is the start of the new year and as usual, i seriously dread going to school. Anyway, i went to downtown east for the countdown party with one of my good friend, Shun gui. The place was crowded because many people were there to usher in the new year too. After the countdown, the whole place erupted into chaos where people dance and party to their heart content. You really got to see all kinds of people after the countdown celebration...mostly indecent ones of course.... haha. As for academic work, i have gone through 1 week of JC2 and i must say it is a bad experience. I found myself so busy that i did not even have time to read papers or go online until now. My past week activities were virtually just eating, sleeping, mugging, scouting, CCA and exercising. HAHA! I must admit that this kind of life has its benefits after all, at least i am not idling around and letting the time drain my life away! Last of all, i joined a new class 05s203 and i was glad that i could blend in. There are a lot of crappers in this new class which means that school hours will not become dull and monotonous. I look forward to many great and memorable times ahead with 05s203!

These past few days have been rather hectic. Firstly, i went to my scouting bbq held recently at mandarin garden condominum. Besides eating, we also went swimming and played a game of water polo since we brought a netball along. I was the goalkeeper and the goalpost was one of the ladder along the swimming pool. It was really pure fun! Seeing my brothers behaving like idiots as they dived and chased for the ball was really a memorable sight! I managed to save a few goals before the security guard ordered us to stop. HAHA... i also went to meet my 1st 3 months SRJC friends at orchard during the christmas eve and we caught the movie Wallace and Gromit at Cineleisure. I must admit the show was rather bad and i felt that I wasted 9.50 for nothing. It was also a wrong time to be at orchard at christmas eve! The whole place was so crowded that we were walking at a snail-like pace and being squeezed like a pancake among the crowd. I also witnessed an interesting sight at orchard whereby people tried different ways to advertise their products. One of them was rather innovative and creative and it was done by standard chartered bank. The guys were dressed up as sharks and swimmers whereas the gals held the placard depicting the informating they wanted to convey. They were stationed at the traffic lights and whenever the lights turned red, they would cross the road and carry out a short skit which involved swimmers being chased by sharks, the girls would then hold their placards high for the drivers to see and cross the road. It was rather interesting as many of the cars horned and i wondered whether they were voicing out their displeasures or approval. But i guessed most of the drivers were rather heartened by it upon spotting their smiling faces. Anyway, orchard road was dotted with many dazzling decorations in order to liven up the feastive season. There was a countdown party to christmas that day but we didn't stay as the place just got more and more crowded. Other than these, i also read finished harry potter sixth book and i hadn't done much of the homework. OPPS!! i shall stop here and begin on them!

Just come back from my class chalet held at aloha changi. Didn't do much, except playing manjong most of the time and interacting with friends. I remembered going to changi village on the 1st night at about 3am and it was a totally hellish experience( Besides the physical aspect, my friends were sharing terrifying ghost stories as well). Nevertheless, I didn't complete my stay at changi as i had to go to a scout meeting on the 2nd night. During the meeting, we were discussing about the idea of a Rover scout section in Tampines. Rovers are basically scouters (age 19 to 25) and it was conceived with the attempt to benefit parties and organisation like the Spastic Children Association Singapore( SCAS), Rotary Club etc. The prospect of me having a 2nd cca seems unnerving as i believe next year will be rather hectic.( A level next year! So fast!) But having observed the current lack of activites in my current cca, chess club, and thinking that it will not reflect well on my testimonial at the end of next year, i have decided to step up to the challenge and join it. But i will back-up anytime if my friends aren't joining...haha. I also reread order of the pheonix during this week as i have forgotten much of the details, this must be done before i can tuck myslef into the half-blood prince. Haven't done any homework at all, and i must admit this is rather grim upon seeming that school is just about 10 days away! Oh no! Before i forget, i also went to loyang temple for the Tai Shui God thanksgiving. I have to do this as i am born in the year of rabbit. People born in the year of rabbit will offend the Tai Shui god this year so i have to go and pray for my well-being. I did it once at the begining of the year and I returned today for Thanksgiving. Talk too much, shall end here.

It has been a year since i last blogged. I see cobwebs hanging around..that's right! Many of my blog features like the tagboard aren't working aymore, and my blogskin with the cute dogs pictures are gone too! I can't possibly describe to you what i have gone through during this year in just 1 single post. Too many things have happened.Therefore i have decided to recap all the major events that had occurred for this year and pen them down over the next few entries (Hopefully.. I have the motivation to do it). First Of all, i was admitted to meridian junior college class 05s202, studying the triple science combination. Initially, i struggled and flunked lots of tests, but things got better at the later part of the year and i managed to scrape through. This year is also a year of self-discovery. Unexpectedly, I found out that i have shaky hands during one of my science practicals! This means that i am unable to hold a thing still with my hands even when i put myself in a calm and relaxed state(really, i have tried and many have beared witness). Hahaha! You must be thinking that this is simply no big deal! Everyone has shaky hands. But i must say that mine wasn't just shaking, mine jolted so much that i became the centre of attention of my class. Suddenly, i was hit hard by a harsh fact-I am not cut out for any kind of job! Indeed, i have lost many of the career opportunities since many jobs require high precision and dexterity. I went home that day to consult my parents, and they told me not to be ridiculous. Unable to get a better answer, i accosted my uncle and he said too that everyone has shaky hands, it's nature. Am I being too worried and paranoid? Really, i don't know. Perhaps, only time will tell. As of now, i have come to terms with this condition and it isn't affecting me anymore, and it never again will.

I have just come back from the three days scout camp at sarimbun and i am feeling very exhausted right now. I have so much things to say and i doubt i can mention all in my blog. i truly enjoyed the camp experience and i believe so do all my scouting brothers. We had so much fun during our short stay there and i think i am too tired to mention all the stuff we did.....sorry for that haha,i feel like sleeping). One thing worth mentioning is that this camp was really frightening as it happened to concide with the Hungry Ghost Festival. It was really not funny as we swore we witnessed paranormal activities during the camp. We saw a plaque erected at the camping ground in the evening dipicting the event of the japanese landing on Singapore. It was at this very place, Sarimbun, that japanese launched their assault on Singapore! It was also the place whereby thousands of people are executed or massacred due to the harsh rule of the Japanese. There were joss sticks on the grass and they surrounded the plaque, causing the air to be filled with a spooky atmosphere. When we returned to the exact same site at night, the joss sticks were gone! Wow! i really got freaked out. Someone could have removed them, but I doubt it as there was no other people around staying near the plaque. Also, another paranormal activity happened in the toilet when i was brushing my teeth near the sink, the toilet bowl behind me just flushed by itself and no one was there at that time, just me. i got so terrified that i flunged myself out of that damn place. Phew! what could have explained this phenomenon? i don't know and i certainly do not want to know. i am just glad that i am safe and sound.............and i am on the road to recovery.

BORING.........the plan to go parkway parade was screwed when chinsoon announced that he was sick today! Anyway, i hope that he will get well soon. Spent my day today reading comic borrowed from Yi Hao. Heard he went parkway alone this afternoon to collect his jeans for his extreme makeover.....haha. That was funny. In fact he spent over 80 bucks to buy a pairs of jeans and and jacket(i think) as he said he wanted to do a complete changeover. I seriously do not want to comment on this. But i absolutely hate it when he advised me to do a touch-up on my appearance together with him.......i mean i think i look fine and i just want to be myself. At night, i went with jj to play basketball. As usual, his basketball skills was so pro and i felt like an ant compared to him. Yeah, we were pissed with yi hao too as he failed to turn up at the court. (Apparently he P.S us). Man! He will get it for sure in future.

Today was really fun! Met chinsoon, jiawen, yihao and telong at the tampines MRT this afternoon. Originally wanted to catch a movie, but got ended up at the Cathay Bowl in SAFRA instead. Man! bowling was really fun with them, couldn't stop laughing when we had jiawen and yihao in the group! Although tension was high as everyone wanted to win, we really had a great time there! Each one has their own unique style of bowling. No doubt, telong's pose was the coolest and he reigned supreme in the game. After about a few rounds, we got so sick and tired and so we tried different methods of bowling. Some stunts included rolling of ball down the lane, it was damn embrassing but it was pure fun! Oh yea! Almost forgot a funny incident that happened to yihao, he was so impatient that he flunged the ball down the lane when the gate was not yet opened to reveal the pins. A technical fault ensued and we had to call the staff down to help, haha pure shit man. Next we accompanied telong to the Swatch store at TM to buy a watch. A silvery, sparkling watch with shiny straps that give it a bright smooth sheen caught his attention and he bought it at 112 bucks instantly( wow rich man!) . Anyway, i shall end here. Will most likely go with chinsoon to parkway parade tomorrow as he wants to do some serious shopping. Another exciting day awaits!

Nothing exciting today.....nothing! Just locked myself the whole day in the room with the computer to keep me company. One can certainly tell how dull my day was just by reading this. Anyway, didn't catch a movie with my friends today. Heard from them they caught the bourne supremacy........ i didn't go though. Spent most of the time today reading the Yi Tian Tu Long Ji novel which my sister bought. Didn't know why i picked up the books to read.....might be due to the TV influence i guess. Everyone knows the protagonist Wu Ji in the story.... I just love his skills, especially his Jiu Yang Sheng Gong that beat the shit of everyone.....absolutely cool! However, the best skill i like is the Dugu Nine Swords used by Ling Hu Chong in the story Xiao Ao Jiang Hu...his one can break all kinds of swordplays!! Not forgetting too is the 18th level dragon palm used by guo jing...........y am i saying all this damn it! i mean reading all these books now seem pointless as o level chn is over. Haiz.... life sux. Yup, at least i arrange with yihao, telong they all to catch a movie tomorrow. Hope tomorrow will be full of vigour, enthusiam and exicitement!

WHEEEZ...... most of the prelims exams papers are over and it is the start of a wonderful long holiday! Nothing!.........absolutely nothing can describe the euphoria i felt when i finished the biology paper on friday. I did spent a great time that day as i played badminton with my cliques(yihao, jj, telong etc.) at the tampines sports hall complex right after the papers. However, i had to rush back to school for scouting in the afternoon....apparently for some errands. Guess wad! My bunch of scout friends and i were treated like labour as we were forced to load wood into a lorry to temasek polytechnic. Upon reaching there, we even had to build a gateway(a kind of structure to welcome guests) for some stupid event. Well, i mean i am so pissed! First day of the holiday and here i gotten myself into this shit! Damn it! I also can't forget about the guy who is in charge of us( think he from that poly). His incessant barkings and remarks about us make me feel like punching his face. Think about it! we are here for a volutary service, we are not even related to him as he is an outsider. And yet he still has the guts to command us to do this and that and expect us to complete the entire structure within 30 min. i absolutely can't tolerate this shit! That virulent foul vermin AKA scumbag totally screwed my holidays( think he has bad breath too)! We finally completed our duties and went around to explore the premises. One thing i find interesting is that polytechic students wear all sorts of stylish clothes that make them look like adults, unlike their JC counterparts(their uniforms make them look like nerds). My scouting friends were absolutely hilarous too! At least they cheered me up by giving me all sorts of crap when we were at that poly. Yup! we finally went home in the evening! HOME SWEET home!

All right i haven't been updating my blog for quite a while...haven't i? This is due t0 the fact that i have been busily preparing for prelims coming up errr let's see.....tomorrow. Tomorrow!!! arghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The prelims are going to last for 2 weeks and i probably won't be updating my blog, at least until they are over. Life for me over these few days had been hundrum and dull as i spent most of the time mugging in my room. Ocassionally, in fact most of the times, i would play music in my com whenever i am studying as i found it rather soothing for me. I am still not prepared to tackle the exams but i must tell myself to be confident or else i won't be able to make it though alive. Hmmmm... my blog sounds too plaintive isn't it? I have been talking about exams controlling my life ever since i started writing.... What to do? My life is really that depressed. Days will probably get darker ahead as prelims play a pivotal role in determining your route either to jc or poly. It is just like talking about my fate being sealed in the next 2 weeks, now that proves scary. All these writings are freaking me out, i am going back to mug again...........

The fear of Prelims finally woke me up. I can say that i used my time wisely today by spending most of the time studying(Not an easy feat for me!!). I also went with jaryl, jun jie and yihao to White Sands Mac and study for the whole afternoon. Even jaryl woke up and became serious in his work throughout the day, hard to believe huh? Haha but that's true, he is dead serious about the prelims coming up in 1 week. Time is really running out! One week is just too little to prepare! I still have a lot of things to accomplish and i am really beginning to feel pissed...really pissed. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Enough! Still got O level oral tomorrow! Hope tomorrow will be a breeze and that i can perform well. End here. Back to mugging...

Yawn...... woke up at 6.30 am today because i had a physics lesson at 8am. Life went on today as usual as i slept through the boring lecture. After the lesson, my usual cliques(jaryl, jun jie etc.) and I went to the Macdonald trying to find the meaning of life there. We relished the past by talking about how wonderful the old times were as we savoured every mouthful of of our meals. Hahaha i was totally amazed when jaryl told me how rediculous my behavior was in sec 1 especially during the sec 1 orientation. He told me that I was actually acting retarded during that time by going to every stranger and asking them, " Hi! My name is kahhaw, wanna be my friend?" Omg! That was really gayish man and i couldn't believe myself that i actually did that 3 years ago! Hahaha! We also talked about how interesting our old class(1e2/2e2) was last time when we had people like jinrong and sam making lifes miserable for everyone. Hahahaha, the mention of their names really get me cracking up as they are really a bunch of jokers. Those were the good old times men! Opps wrote too much liao, got to end here! haha.